


the cliff

by builtfromthesamedirt



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguity, Anxiety, Crushes, Emotional Hurt, Emotions, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Unrequited Crush, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Well - Freeform, Well not really, as in it's based on my own issues, no beta we die like Among Us Crewmates, t for teen bc of that oop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/builtfromthesamedirt/pseuds/builtfromthesamedirt
Summary: george feels an impulse to tell dream how he feels. it doesn't quite come to fruition.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	the cliff

**Author's Note:**

> hello would like to preface this by saying that a lot of this fic revolves around the phrase "jumping off the cliff" and also deals w negative thought patterns so if that could potentially trigger you, please skip out on this one!
> 
> i had very bad anxiety white writing bc i literally have fucked things over with my friend group and im not sure i can fix it but it is fine i shall survive.  
> my instagram is just smp central now so uhh it's good for not having to come out but it's bad bc my mom would not appreciate the whole "i watch minecraft streamers" thing. n e ways stream la jolla by wilbur uwu  
> sorry for the excessive use of pronouns in this and if that makes things unclear :/  
> reminder that this is a work of fiction and nothing else don't repost or send to ccs! if this makes any mentioned ccs uncomfy it will be deleted!  
> feel free to leave kudos/comments! both r greatly appreciated!! :)

george feels this pull in his chest whenever they’re together.

like tonight, for example. they’d driven to some park in the middle of the night just to hang out. he’s not sure exactly why, but he knows he’d do anything his best friend asked him to with no questions asked because the butterflies in his stomach gravitate him to do so. he knows he’s in love with him. he’s known for a while now. how could he not? it’s so painfully obvious to him, from the way that his hands itch to be held to the way his knees go weak when he smiles at him, how absolutely fucked he is for him, and now that he knows, he feels as though he has to do everything in his power to keep himself from impulsively blurting out all of his feelings. it’s a strong urge that grips his very essence and takes every last bit of resolve he can muster to not spill out the past several months’ emotions.

he feels it as they make eye contact. that desire to throw all caution to the wind. that impulse to throw himself off whatever cliff he’s found in his mind and do what his brain’s been screaming at him to do for months now. he wants to feel the wind on his cheeks, the weightlessness in his chest as he releases all of the built-up tension in his lungs. he makes him a waxing poetic in the way he makes him want to tell the world of the way that his stomach twists in the best ways when he jokes with him. he wants to fill the air with stories of how his heart flutters like a leaf in the autumn winds when he sees his name appear on his phone screen and songs drawn straight from the playlists he’s made about him, his muse, his everything, it seems. all of the flushed cheeks and tear streaks and endless nights thinking about how he could be there with him, nestled in his arms and intertwined with his legs, could be displayed for him right now like a museum dedicated to him, if he just opened his mouth and said the words.

he mentally takes the leap. he hears the words he could say ring through his brain, hears the lovely melodies of a love still unsung play in his mind’s ear. he imagines how his eyes would widen, a glimmer of something he may not yet know the name of but is eager to memorize the patterns of in his irises. his mind paints the blushed shades of pink onto his cheeks and a splitting grin across his face as he turns away from coyness. he tries to think about what he might say in return. what would his version of the song be? would it be laced with the same melodies of warm chests and upturned lips as his? or would there be something else, something completely unfamiliar to him, that would grace his lips? he pictures him leaning in closer, letting out one of those laughs that made his lungs itch with a need to make that laugh the only thing he ever heard, before closing the distance.

but then the images in his mind take on the shadows of his deepest anxieties, and he feels his breath hitch in his throat as they twist away from the bliss he previously pictured. instead of a glistening light, his eyes held a murky well of unwelcoming waters. he watches his mouth stretch into a frown and spit out words of hurt, of confusion, of bitter rejection. instead of moving closer, he moves as far away as he can, disgusted with what’s been revealed to him. some part of his subconscious tells him that this would never happen, that he wasn’t anything like this at all, but he can’t bring himself to tear his mind’s eye away from the image of his best friend hurling insults at him and running as fast and as far away as he possibly can from him, to never be seen again.

the silence is broken as he asks him what’s wrong. he swallows, shakes his head, says nothing. in his head, he darts back from the cliff, suddenly terrified of how his toes seemed to teeter on the edge. they eventually head back to their respective cars. he can barely offer him a farewell wave before he climbs into his car and drives off into the silent, dark night.

everything stays the same. he’s left to his own thoughts for yet another night.


End file.
